Is Post-Grad Depression Real? | Blogtober Day 9

I graduated from university on June 25th, 2019.

Around this time, I was a mixture of emotions. I was happy, excited, scared, proud but most of all, I felt this dark sadness looming in the back of my mind. I felt it for weeks leading up to my graduation, but I thought it was due to a number of changes in my life around that time. I kept myself busy and I kept everything under control, until, one weekend, I didn’t. 

All it took was one weekend, to completely tip me over the edge and weeks of darkness just followed from there on. I tried my best to open up; to close friends, to old friends, housemates and family. It wasn’t until a day where I was crying, unable to get out of bed for the third day in a row, that I finally decided to contact my eldest sister in Australia, and then she said it. 

“Amman, you’ve got the post-grad blues.” 

I knew that post-graduation depression was something a few graduates I knew had spoken about. However, I didn’t realise how dark it was until that moment when it clicked in my brain. I was feeling horrible and I was going through a lot, there was a lot on my mind and I didn’t see how confused and scared I truly was. After opening up to my sister that morning, I finally felt my road to recovery as I was receiving nothing but support from her end, as she forced me to go on jogs every morning and I booked an appointment with my GP to learn more. 

University was always a little harder for me. First year is where a lot of my mental health issues stem, so I always thought that the post-grad depression was inevitable – I just didn’t realise how rough it was. Then I realised there wasn’t really a conversation on how university can have such a dark effect on your mental health and I wanted to be the one to do it. 

University were the best and worst three years of my life. 

There is a lot more to go into this conversation that doesn’t fit into this blog post, but university really can give you some of the most amazing moments imaginable, to some of the darkest. It’s a really tough balance. My first year was difficult for a number of reasons and I didn’t at all feel prepared for what happened once I had graduated. 

Now, I am much better. I’ve been back at home for about a month now and I’ve started adapting to my next chapter. I still have no idea what’s going on, but the support that I have around me is what continues to keep me moving on. I don’t know what on earth I would do without my friends and family. I am in a process to recovery, still trying to sort out the countless thoughts and issues in my head, but I’m no longer letting myself sink as easily. 

So, in my experience, post-grad depression is very real, but you shouldn’t be scared of it. For sure, be aware of it and remember those feelings are completely natural. Life is changing, your friends will be moving away and the life that you have created for yourself will be developing into something new. But I promise, as long as you keep your chin up and your mind full of ambition, you will get through it and hopefully we can create a nice, refreshing new chapter for ourselves.

My question today is, did you go through any post-grad depression when you left university? Or, are you currently at university and you’ve definitely felt a large change on your mental health? I’d love to hear a bit about it.

Love always,

AK.