A Dude Talk: Why Is Self Care A Female Thing? | Blogtober Day 5

I’ve got an ex boyfriend. When he wasn’t an ex boyfriend, we obviously used to hang out a lot and when you get that close with somebody, you get to see each other’s habits, things they do and don’t do and sides of each other that other people just have no other reason to see.

Me being the person I am, I have quite a long skin care routine. It used to be much longer and had it’s dedicated bathroom time, in the mornings and the evenings where I did things like – exfoliate, wax and pluck, face mask, wash, moisturize, oil and many other attributes depending on the time, season or state of my face. My boyfriend would always be sitting on his phone, or watching the television and when I handed him my lip balm, finalising my routine, he looked at me like I handed him over the most alien product. 

“You rub it on your lips.” 

He took the lip balm from my hand and takes an incredibly small amount. I urge him to take more and show him what I do instead. 

It was just a random thought, something I’ve always wanted to address and talk about, but do guys really know a thing about looking after themselves?

I’m not sure if it’s coming from an Asian background, or the fact that I’m just a girl, but if there’s one thing my mom has always drilled into my brain, is that I need to exfoliate every part of my skin, I need to moisturize every part afterwards and if I think that it’s long and tiring and useless, my body and skin will thank me in the future. 

It’s not only my future self, though. As I’ve created a routine, researched into my skin type and products, my mental and physical being just feel so much better. It is a form of self care, as it’s true dedicated time where you spend some time with yourself each day, take a break from the world and social media and you’re dedicating your time and energy directly into yourself. Plus, you look good. You learn how to bring out your skin’s natural glow, your spots will begin to lighten, your texture begins to smooth out and overall, you feel a bunch better.

So, why is it a girl thing?

Honestly, I changed that boy’s life when I gave him his own moisturiser and lip balm. 

This is a challenge for the guy’s that read my blog. Go out and buy some face products, honey. Chill out tonight. Light a candle, listen to your favourite playlist, slap on a face mask and moisturize your skin till your heart’s content. You’ll thank me later. 

I promise this doesn’t make you any less of a man.

If you’re a girl and you’ve read this and there was a specific guy that came to mind while reading this, send this straight over to him. Let’s get all the guys in our lives to actually start taking the time out to look after themselves!

Let me know how it goes.

Love always,

AK.

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Shout Out Section

Today I’ve got one blog post for you guys, as I found it related so hard to this post, I just had to share it.

lauralandx // The Ultimate Autumn Self Care Rituals

In this post, Laura talks about the time in the week she takes out to unwind and dedicate the evening to herself, as well as what she tends to do on those relaxing days.

Check out here post here!

6 thoughts on “A Dude Talk: Why Is Self Care A Female Thing? | Blogtober Day 5

  1. I’m glad that, as a registered and licensed dude, I can give you my unsolicited opinion.
    Wait, is it unsolicited? I guess technically you got an open question there. I’ll just treat it as a rhetorical one so I can sound as obnoxious as possible. Ooh, I should start with “uhm, actually” too.
    Uhm, actually (nailed it) guys do know how to take care of themselves, but they don’t attribute the same values to self-care. It might just be because of old-fashioned gender roles where girls were told to make sure they’re pretty, while boys grew up being bullied if they knew the difference between shampoo and conditioner. So maybe that will change over the next generations, but for the most part, we were never raised to put importance into hygienic routines beyond taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and how to use toilet paper.
    And I have to say, growing up like that I don’t see the importance of spending a lifetime in the bathroom scrubbing miniscule imperfections off your skin. All other skin care routines girls always go through seem to me no different than diet fads that promise great results with this one weird trick.
    There seems to be always something new coming out to fix problems you didn’t think needed fixing.The Beauty industry is full of marketing ploys to make women feel insecure about themselves and convince them they need to fix every inch of their body. And because this is so heavily marketed to women I don’t see it as a universal necessity.
    It works the other way around, too, when the marketing shifts its extreme. At some point they came out with makeup “for men” (as if regular makeup was incompatible with our skin) and marketed it under some ridiculous name. I think it was “war paint” or something along those lines. Again, I felt that this wasn’t a product that had any benefits for me other than spending money on covering up the shame of my skin (which I wasn’t taught to feel, so nice try).
    But all this isn’t to say we don’t take care of ourselves. I use a moisturize after every shower. But I do that because my skin dries up, which is uncomfortable, and not because I consider it spending time with myself. We minimize our need for taking care of our skin to what we feel is necessary. And while girls might believe that it’s important to get rid of blackheads, I like to point out that I never bothered and I’m still alive and happy. Which doesn’t mean you would be happy to stop doing your thing. I’m not here to preach the way of the white man as a superior choice to live by. You do you, after all it’s your very own self that you care for, and it doesn’t have to apply to others, even if there are similarities between certain groups.
    Go ahead and spend as much time as you need in the bathroom. I’ll be sitting on the couch, shaking my head saying “women, amirite”, while high-fiving my fellas who don’t even file their nails after trimming them.
    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to change my blogname to “McMansplain”.

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  2. See, that’s where I’ll disagree with you. You wouldn’t know of the changes that certain products will have to your skin, until you actually use these products over a long term. Of course there’s not miracle cure. But this post is directed to boys who don’t even know what moisturizer is, like my ex-boyfriend, which factually keeps your skin feeling better for a long, long time (because everyone’s skin is dry after a shower.) I’m very proud to here that you moisturise. Good for you! But I would still, 100% and whole-heartedly recommend you-time, that is unplugging and is just you taking care of you, which is why I enjoy long, “female” routines and think guys should establish their own versions whenever stressed or going through hard times!

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  3. Hi there, stumbled across your post quite by accident however I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. How the crap does a guy figure out his skin type and what products to use. As a previous comment mentioned a lot of this stuff is primarily marketed at the female demographic … I need help.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, hey dude, glad you stumbled across it! Definitely try to identify your issues/skin type and if you need help there are beauty technicians at drug stores, like superdrug and boots, to help you find the right products for you! I have super oily skin which means I break out a lot and female products usually don’t work on my skin, so I actually use bulldog, which is a skincare brand aimed at men, to control my skin oils! Definitely check it out if you get the chance, they have a range of stuff

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