Is It Safe To Talk About Sex Yet? | Blogtober Day 4

So. Sex, huh? Haha. Awkward, right? 

Sex is not an easy subject to talk about. Especially in the culture I’ve been raised, it’s forbidden, in fact, as a woman, it’s so strange and wrong if I ever talk about sex in a comfortable and open fashion.

So.

 

Awkward noise.

Throat gurgle.

I’ve had sex.

WOOF. 

 

Glad to get that off my chest. I hate that sex has such a weird and negative stigma but there you are, I’m no stranger to a little sexy time and I’m so glad that I’ve got that out the way.

Now’s not the time to tell you allll about it, like I’m sure some of you internet weirdo’s would love to hear. In fact, specifically I wanted to talk about virginity and why I think it can be unhealthy or damaging.  So, have you had sex before? I’ll give you a little second to run down memory lane. Or, maybe you’re not thinking about anything at all, which is fine too, in fact this post is probably more for you anyway. 

I genuinely think being a virgin is awesome. You must have some crazy will power, because damn those innate urges and fanny flutters are a strong force to be reckoned with. I think it’s awesome that you’re being a virgin, I just think that part of your mindset is dangerous.

“Losing Your Virginity”

I know I’ve said virgin about a hundred times in this post so far, but honestly, I think the idea of losing your virginity is incredibly toxic and damaging, as it puts a lot of pressure around the idea that you should not regret your first sexual experience. However, some people just don’t get the choice.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a big life re-do button. Your first time probably isn’t going to be magical. There isn’t any fireworks, it’s not always pain-free. It’s usually a big mess and it’s more than likely going to be with someone who you’ll forget about in the future. But that’s not a bad thing! 

Sex is natural; sexual urges are literally part of our biological chemistry and I don’t want you to live your life, regretting your first time. Not because you should’ve chosen someone else, but because society tends to drill in your brain that it’s something you should regret. You live and you learn. Your first sexual experience is not something that can be “taken” from you. The first time isn’t the most important one anyway. The ones that matter are the ones with the laughs and jokes, the ones with pure love and happiness, the ones with your best friend, not the first one, no matter how much someone is drilling that into your brain.

If you’ve not had sex yet, wait all you want. It took me 7 months into my first relationship until I had sex with them. I just hope that you’re not building this false image of sex in your head. Don’t let yourself put pressure on anything and let the experience happen naturally, you’ll enjoy it more that way.

And if your first time was something you don’t like to remember; honestly, same. But our first times don’t define us. I no longer look at that first time as my first time, and instead remember the great experiences with some people I truly appreciate. 

So, I ask the question, how did you lose your virginity? Was it terrible or was it okay? Feel free to put your responses in the comments below.

Look forward to hearing from you. 

Love always,

AK. 

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Some Blogtober Favourites 

Fayebeline // My Most Memorable Tattoo Experiences

Another beautifully written blog post that is the definition of getting you into the fall mood. It was relaxing and engaging and it was lovely hearing about all of Faye’s little tattoo stories, with some beautiful photography too. 

Check out the post here.

 

Miss Misanthrope // Religion And Spirituality

As someone who doesn’t really believe in anything, I actually love hearing stories about the beliefs of others and exploring that with them. This blog is a little look into Wiccan culture and an honest, open word on religion and beliefs (and you all know I love an honest and open blog post.)

Check it out here. 

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