My Nose.

I’ve always hated my nose.

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It’s an Indian nose, I got it from my dad, who got it from his dad, who got it from his dad. An ancestry nose, and if you’re aware of Indian noses, you’re aware of how big they are. Mine, in particularly, has always been prominent.

I’m a young woman, 5’3’’ and incredibly petite and this makes my nose feel enormous. Like any insecurity, it’s at the back of my mind so I’d try and forget about it. I’m not the unlucky soul who gets to see it everyday, of course. Then it gets worse, when friends and family do begin to comment on it.

“You’re nose is so big.” “When are you going to grow into your nose?” “At least my nose isn’t as big as yours.”

Insecurities are fine, everyone in the world is insecure about something. I didn’t realise how big my insecurity was of a problem, until I realised how normally I spoke about getting plastic surgery. It’s not their fault, but it was normalised by my dad and big sister too.

We were in my dad’s car, driving to somewhere and the topic just came up into conversation. “When I’m rich and when I’m older,” my dad says, “I’m gonna buy a big house, a nice car, hair implants and I’m getting a nose job.”

“Seriously?” I ask. “Seriously,” he replies, “I’m getting a nose job.” “Me too!” my sister pipes up from the passenger seat beside him, “I want a nose job too, my nose is so big, I blame you.”

I thought; then I want a nose job too. I’m not happy, my dad’s not happy, my sister’s not happy, if we’re all not happy, then it’s fine if we’re all doing it together.

For years, this was a constant in my life. I couldn’t wait to be old enough and rich enough to get my nose done and finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Any comment anyone would make on my nose, I would reply with, “don’t worry, I’m getting plastic surgery anyway.” I was certain that this was going to be my life, insecure every day until that day where I finally get that nose job.

Social influencers get a lot of hate, especially influencers like the thin models you see in magazines and the gorgeous girls you see on instagram. For me, though, social influencers are what changed my mind.

Supreme Banana, Saara and Gabbie Hanna.

Supreme Banana

Image result for supreme banana

Camilla was the first YouTuber I saw open up about her plastic surgery. She had an insecurity with her eyebags, which I couldn’t see and she told us that she has indeed got plastic surgery on them to make them less baggy. In this video, she even filmed the whole procedure. This took a lot of strength and it actually put me off the idea of surgery in an instant, but I appreciated Camilla having the honesty to open up and not give a false image to her subscribers.

Saara

Image result for saara

Saara has an incredibly unusual nose and she knows it. She even made a video, entirely dedicated to her nose. It was really weird but it was so, so empowering that it made me go fuck, why do I care so much about my freakin nose?

Gabbie Hanna

Image result for gabbie hanna

I’ve never been a huge fan of Gabbie and never watched a lot of her stuff. Randomly, one day, I stumbled upon Smosh’s ‘You Posted That’ and I obviously had to binge watch the whole thing. Gabbie Hanna was a guest on one of the shows and I realised, oh dang, she’s got a big nose. I continued watching, not really paying attention to that thought, but then I realised how important it was that I saw a girl, highly successful, gorgeous and funny, with a big nose, in front of a camera to millions. It actually made me look up to her as someone in the limelight, with a big nose and how empowering that is. It’s so freaking important.

Personally, why I’m no longer interested in getting a nose job is pretty simple. This is my nose.

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Once I remove that, I will never have this nose again. My nose is a staple of my family and my heritage, it’s an Indian nose and that’s important to me. More importantly, to the young girls growing up hating their Indian noses, I don’t want them to know that I escaped from that by getting a nose job. Instead, I learned to accept and love my nose. Sure, there are days where I hate it more than other days, but for them, I can never get rid of my nose. I’m keeping my nose so I am somebody those kids can look up to.

Love your insecurities, embrace your insecurities and I’ll catch you tomorrow.

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17 thoughts on “My Nose.

Add yours

  1. This is beautiful! I’ve always hated my nose too, I also got it from my dad who got it from his dad… And I was exactly the same, always sure that I would get a nose job once I had the money. But learning to accept it wasn’t actually so difficult, it’s just who I am and the way people see me and feel about me has NOTHING to do with my nose! Great post, can’t wait to see what’s tomorrow! Loving this anti-blogtober.

    Lots of love, Lavrax
    Lavraxlondon.com xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post! So many people grow up wanting surgery when actually it’s just part of who you are. I love that you accepted your nose as your heritage, it’s very special. And actually, I would never have looked at your photos and thought you had a big nose!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is an amazing post – my Mum got a nose job when I was really young as she had the distinctive Native American nose and it was something we always spoke about which kind of normalised it in our family. I ended up with my Dad’s nose so I never ended up worrying about it, but I always thouht changing something like that is changing your heritage. You’re beautiful! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I always hates my nose as well. I just don’t think it goes with the rest of my face. Sort of like if I have the dog filter on snapchat I think I look better because it just throws off the whole look. But I’ve grown to love it more so I’m sure you can too!

    Love, Amber xxx
    happilyhavingnoideawhatimdoing.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love your nose! I love everything about you, kayla 💖 I can’t believe that you stil have insecurities. But I’m happy that you get to love them now 🤗 You just have ti surround yourself with people who make you feel happy for being who you are 💖

    key xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Key, you’re way too sweet! But you’re right, it’s about bringing the positivity to you and turning any negative trait positive. And a big combination with actually loving yourself! X

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I always thought that your nose is one of your assets because honestly, it looks great to me. I can’t believe someone would be insecure about their nose! 😦 I’m so glad you’ve changed your mind about the plastic surgery, because I gotta say that you’ve got one of the most beautiful faces ever! I think you’re a lot beautiful in person, Kayla! Xx

    Mary

    Liked by 1 person

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