I’ve always hated my nose.
It’s an Indian nose, I got it from my dad, who got it from his dad, who got it from his dad. An ancestry nose, and if you’re aware of Indian noses, you’re aware of how big they are. Mine, in particularly, has always been prominent.
I’m a young woman, 5’3’’ and incredibly petite and this makes my nose feel enormous. Like any insecurity, it’s at the back of my mind so I’d try and forget about it. I’m not the unlucky soul who gets to see it everyday, of course. Then it gets worse, when friends and family do begin to comment on it.
“You’re nose is so big.” “When are you going to grow into your nose?” “At least my nose isn’t as big as yours.”
Insecurities are fine, everyone in the world is insecure about something. I didn’t realise how big my insecurity was of a problem, until I realised how normally I spoke about getting plastic surgery. It’s not their fault, but it was normalised by my dad and big sister too.
We were in my dad’s car, driving to somewhere and the topic just came up into conversation. “When I’m rich and when I’m older,” my dad says, “I’m gonna buy a big house, a nice car, hair implants and I’m getting a nose job.”
“Seriously?” I ask. “Seriously,” he replies, “I’m getting a nose job.” “Me too!” my sister pipes up from the passenger seat beside him, “I want a nose job too, my nose is so big, I blame you.”
I thought; then I want a nose job too. I’m not happy, my dad’s not happy, my sister’s not happy, if we’re all not happy, then it’s fine if we’re all doing it together.
For years, this was a constant in my life. I couldn’t wait to be old enough and rich enough to get my nose done and finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Any comment anyone would make on my nose, I would reply with, “don’t worry, I’m getting plastic surgery anyway.” I was certain that this was going to be my life, insecure every day until that day where I finally get that nose job.
Social influencers get a lot of hate, especially influencers like the thin models you see in magazines and the gorgeous girls you see on instagram. For me, though, social influencers are what changed my mind.
Supreme Banana, Saara and Gabbie Hanna.
Supreme Banana –
Camilla was the first YouTuber I saw open up about her plastic surgery. She had an insecurity with her eyebags, which I couldn’t see and she told us that she has indeed got plastic surgery on them to make them less baggy. In this video, she even filmed the whole procedure. This took a lot of strength and it actually put me off the idea of surgery in an instant, but I appreciated Camilla having the honesty to open up and not give a false image to her subscribers.
Saara has an incredibly unusual nose and she knows it. She even made a video, entirely dedicated to her nose. It was really weird but it was so, so empowering that it made me go fuck, why do I care so much about my freakin nose?
Gabbie Hanna –
I’ve never been a huge fan of Gabbie and never watched a lot of her stuff. Randomly, one day, I stumbled upon Smosh’s ‘You Posted That’ and I obviously had to binge watch the whole thing. Gabbie Hanna was a guest on one of the shows and I realised, oh dang, she’s got a big nose. I continued watching, not really paying attention to that thought, but then I realised how important it was that I saw a girl, highly successful, gorgeous and funny, with a big nose, in front of a camera to millions. It actually made me look up to her as someone in the limelight, with a big nose and how empowering that is. It’s so freaking important.
Personally, why I’m no longer interested in getting a nose job is pretty simple. This is my nose.
Once I remove that, I will never have this nose again. My nose is a staple of my family and my heritage, it’s an Indian nose and that’s important to me. More importantly, to the young girls growing up hating their Indian noses, I don’t want them to know that I escaped from that by getting a nose job. Instead, I learned to accept and love my nose. Sure, there are days where I hate it more than other days, but for them, I can never get rid of my nose. I’m keeping my nose so I am somebody those kids can look up to.
Love your insecurities, embrace your insecurities and I’ll catch you tomorrow.